When youre out and about with your guy pals, theres always plenty to talk about, isnt there?
Sport, music, movies, your buddys weird itch
But when it comes to things to talk about with a girl? It can get tricky for some guys.
Whether its a first date or youve just started talking to a girl out in a barsometimes your brain freezes and you cant think of a single thing to say.
Well, a lack of confidence, mostly. Nerves and anxiety can rob you of your tongue.
- How to Start a Conversation With a Girl
- 20 Interesting Things to Talk About With a Girl
- 1. The Food/Drinks
- 2. Music
- 3. Television
- 4. Movies
- 5. Work
- 6. Hobbies
- 7. Pets and Animals
- 8. Travel
- 9. Future Plans
- 10. Education
- 11. Pet Peeves
- 12. Personal Struggles
- 13. Politics
- 14. Drugs and Alcohol
- 15. Ethics
- 16. Dreams
- 17. Naughty Stories
- 18. Conspiracy Theories
- 19. Life and the Universe
- 20. Love
- Whats So Hard About Talking To Girls?
How to Start a Conversation With a Girl
If you find it difficult to come up with things to talk about off the top of your head, this section is for you.
Its important that you start aconversation with a girl on the right foot if you want her to become attracted to you.
Here are three great techniques for opening conversations indirectly. An indirect approach works because it allows you to spark awesome off-the-cuff conversations while still being yourself.
- Technique #1 Comment on something shes holding or wearing. It can be a statement or a question. For example, if shes holding a drink at a bar, ask her how she likes it. If shes wearing unique shoes, find out where she got them. Pay attention to the details.
- Technique #2 Comment on something thats happening around you both in the moment. For example, if youre at a bar and theres a band playing, make a comment about the singers voice. Again, being able to have conversations on the fly is all about paying attention to the details.
- Technique #3 Give her a compliment. This technique is a little more direct but its a great way to start a conversation with a girl who youre interested in. The important thing with this one is to stay away from the obvious compliments that most guys would be giving her. If shes got a tattoo, dont compliment her on it. Too easy. Hair and piercings? No and nope. These are obvious and every other guy is complimenting her on those. You need to be unique to spark her interest, especially at the start of a conversation.
These techniques all involve starting with something personal. This makes it easier to connect with her. If you dont start connecting right away, theconversation will quickly die and youll lose her interest.Further Reading
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You: 13 Surefire Signs
Not sure if shes into you? Or just generally want to know how to tell if a girl likes you? Weve got you covered. Stop your guesswork and learn these 13 signs.
Check out this great video from Tripp Advice which breaks down these points:
20 Interesting Things to Talk About With a Girl
Okay, so youve got the conversation started. Now youve just got to relax and let the conversation flow.
Its good practice to have some interesting topics to bring up should the chatter run dry. Same goes with having a few go-to questionsin your back pocket.
Dont worry, weve done all the hard work for you. Heres what to talk about with a girl:
1. The Food/Drinks
Its obvious, really. Theyre right there in front of you.
Does she like what shes got? Does she want to try yours? Whats her favourite cocktail?
Whats also probably there and should work as its own cue is music.
Dont use this as an excuse to tell her your top 100 albums in descending order, though. Guys have a tendency to get a bit crazy when it comes to talking about music.
Ask her what shes into. And if she says something you hate (which, lets face it, is very likely) fight the temptation to spit on the floor and walk out.
You dont want to look like an expert, though. Thatll paint you out like a couch potato. But, do ask her what she watches.
Remember its not atest, youre finding out about one another. If your tastes are hugely different, perhaps youre not a right fit.
Dont make a snap judgement on that just because she doesnt watch Mad Men, though.
This subject works like the last two, but you can use it to progress to date two.
Get talking about new releases. Listen out for what movie shes looking forward to seeing. When she says it REMEMBER IT. Later down the line it can be your key to another meet.
Tricky topic, this one. Itll come up, no doubt.
Dont fear it, but do beware that it can be a touchy subject. You dont want to brag about work if you have a good job. It looks arrogant.
Similarly, you cant be too down on yourself if you have a slightly less than impressive sounding job role. Tell her what you do, say you enjoy it, then move things onto her line of work.
Now were talking (quite literally). People LOVE talking about the things they, well, love.
Get her talking about her hobbies and interests. Then the chat will, naturally, turn to yours. Tell her. Be passionate! Theres nothing more attractive to a woman than a man with fire in his belly about something.
Unless that thing is strip clubs, of course (usually).
7. Pets and Animals
Not that we wish to generalize, but theres a good chance the girl youre talking to will either have a pet or want one.
Furry friends will get them gushing with words and all you need do is sit back, nod and pull aaaaw, cute! faces. Talk about your childhood pet (do NOT cry!).
Showrespect, love and appreciation for animals and youre winning brownie points already.
Where has she been? Where does she want to go? Can you relate to the places she names? Does she have any holiday plans? Do you?
If you dont, you should check out our ultimate list of the best places for single guys to travel to.
Okay, so travel questions are the sort of thing your barber asks, but dammit if it isnt a great topic anyway. Those people know more than just how to make your hair look good, yknow.
9. Future Plans
Avoid making this sound like an interview question, but its still a good idea for a conversation topic.
Prepare your answer and you can appear focused and goal-oriented. Drop in a mention of a lovely woman and kids and youre onto a real winner.
TAMs Top 3 Most Complimented Fragrances That Girls Love
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Youre not exchanging qualification details here. But this opens up opportunities for anecdotes about school, college and uni.
Just keep em clean.
11. Pet Peeves
What bugs the girl? What annoys you? Keep it light.
This isnt a chance to angrily rant for 45 minutes about your boss or referees.
12. Personal Struggles
Sharing struggles can create a sense of bonding.
This ones risky, though. Youve got to judge the tone of the evening. It could turn things a bit sour. But, judge it right and talking about things shes overcome can help the girl develop an emotional connection and build trust with you.
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Again, youve got totestthe waters here.
This can give you both something to talk and agree on. On the flipside, you may find yourselves shouting at each other.
Proceed. With. Caution.
14. Drugs and Alcohol
This isnt a topic for everyone, but you may have to broach it eventually.
If youre either a particular fan or hugely dislike these two things youre going to need to she how she feels about them.
Its a tough one. Talking about morally questionable ideas and systems wage slavery, real slavery, racism, etc.
Save this for once youve had a few conversations. Only things could turn sour. And if shes not keen to talk about this sort of thing? Ditch the idea.
So, this one can go either way.
Maybe youll get her to open up and talk freely about her crazy, interesting dreams. If thats the case, its an awesome topic to talk about. Dreams are usually a persons true passions. And people love to talk about them.
Or, maybe its a dead end. Worse still, it could just be boring for the one listening/pretending to listen.
Keep it in your back pocket andplay it by ear.Further Reading
69 Things to Talk About With Your Crush That Will Spark the Fireworks
Read this and youll never do small talk or awkward silences again. These are the top 69 things to talk about with your crush thatll spark ultimate fireworks.
17. Naughty Stories
Bear with us here.
Youve got to make sure the girl youre talking to is relaxed and open and honest and extroverted first. And dont open with this whatever you do.
Plus, when its your turn to talk dont get too filthy. She doesnt need to hear about what you got up to in that barn when you working that summer job when you were fifteen.
18. Conspiracy Theories
Who does she think killed JFK? Alright, this ones not for everyone, admittedly, but it can be entertaining.
But either way, you really shouldnt bring up your flat Earth theory.
19. Life and the Universe
If you cant string a few minutes talk out of a subject as huge as this, then youre probably screwed, brother.
Have a few thought-provoking existential questions in your lockertheyre an excellent vehicle to launch into deeper topics.Further Reading
61 Existential Questions That Will Spark Thought-Provoking Conversations
Reignite the lost art of conversation and ask more thought-provoking questions. Learn the best existential questions to ask and how to do it. Lets get deep.
We dare you!
But remember, guys. Its a pretty bad idea toaskher if shes in love with you. If youre not sure why weve said that,this post is for you.
Whats So Hard About Talking To Girls?
Nothing, really. Theyre just people, after all.
Alright, some of them are freeze-your-brain beautiful. We get that.
But just take a deep breath. And rememberyoure not alone. Lots of fellas struggle with relaxed chit-chat when theyre planted in a seat two feet away from women they find attractive.
Here are just a few reasons conversation can be stilted and men struggle to talk to women:
- Lack ofawareness.Shes not your mother or sister. And shes definitely not one of the boys. Be aware of your company and the situation youre in. Some men forget to adapt their conversation and behavior and it can set up aterrible convo and really put a woman off wanting to talk to you. It can also land you in the friend zone if the girl is a romantic interest. And romance and friend zone go together likealmonds and gum.
- Lack of motivation.Maybe youre just getting out of a relationship and cant stop thinking about your ex (actually, this is a great reason to go on a date). Maybe youve been forced by your friends to go on the date and youre not all that up for it. Or maybe, your low self-esteem makes you believe any effort is futile. Lack of motivation can be a real killer of good conversation. So, what can you do? Simple. Get off the couch and get in the game. Youll feel a lot better for it.
- Lack of knowledge.Dont get yourself involved in talking about something you know absolutely nothing about. Unless its a favorite subject of hers and you mention up front that you want her to teach you about it. Theres not much worse than seeing a dude spout off ignorant falsehoods because he feels threatened by a womans intelligence. If you do this, it will quite rightly make her want to stop talking toyou.Our Favorite Daily News Email
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There you have it. There are a lot of topics here but dont let that stress you out. Each one of them can lead to hours of stimulating conversation.
Do yourself (and mankind) a favor, though. Dont talk about the weather, alright? Unless youve got a sneaking suspicion shes dull.
Or a meteorologist. Or a dullmeteorologist.
Interested in learning how to never be boring in conversation? Check out this video from one of our favorite YouTube channels, Charisma on Command: