How to get to know a guy over text

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How to get to know a guy over text

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

So youre trying to figure out if a guy likes you through text.

Dont worry, weve all been there.

While you might think its easy, its actually harder than you might think.


Because you cant rely on body language or social interactions. Its just his texts, his replies, and how long it takes him to respond.

But fear not, there are certain tricks of the trade that will enable you to get a better idea if he likes you or not.

You just need to know what questions to ask, what to look for, and what you can do.

So in this article, Im going through all of the different signs that he likes you through text.

We have a lot to cover so lets get started.

1. He talks about what youd be doing if he was there

Lets be honest: This is a pretty obvious sign that he likes you.

If he is saying things like, If I was with you right now, wed be doing this
or I wish I was there with you right now, wed be having so much fun! then theres a big chance he likes you.


Because its clear that he is thinking about being with you.

Not only that, but he WANTS to be with you.

We can all agree that feeling the desire to spend time with someone else is a clear sign that you like them.

2. He is using A LOT of flirty Emojis

Now, this is generalizing a little.

Clearly, some people are just liberal with emojis no matter what.

But if youve seen him text other people, or youve witnessed how he communicates on platforms such as Instagram and Facebook, and he appears to be using a lot of flirty emojis specifically with you, then thats a fair sign that hes into you.

So, what kind of flirty emojis will he use if he likes you?

The common ones: the emoji with the heart eyes, smiley face with the tongue sticking out, or the playful lips that signify a kiss.

If it seems like he doesnt use them regularly, and he is clearly making an exception for you, then thats a great sign.

Hes trying to let you know that hes interested in more than just a conversation.

Of course, youll laugh it off and try not to read too much into it, but thats the whole point  read into it!

Quick note:

Watch out for the slippery and slidey players who flirt with every single girl they can talk to

One way to find out if your guy does this is to get one of your friends to chat with him as well.

Then you can analyze how many flirty emojis he uses with them.

3. Hes infatuated with you

Why do men fall for certain women over text but not others?

Well, according to the science journal, Archives of Sexual Behavior, men dont choose women for logical reasons.

As dating and relationship coach Clayton Max says, Its not about checking all the boxes on a mans list of what makes his perfect girl. A woman cant convince a man to want to be with her.

Instead, men choose women who they are infatuated with. These women stir up a sense of excitement and desire to chase them through what they say in their texts.

Want a few simple tips to be this woman?

Then watch Clayton Maxs quick video here where he shows you how to make a man infatuated with you (its easier than you probably think).

Infatuation is triggered by a primal drive deep within the male brain. And although it sounds crazy, there is a combination of words you can say to generate feelings of red-hot passion for you.

To learn exactly what these texts are, watch Claytons excellent video now.

4. He lets you know hes going out

He doesnt want to miss your messages or make you worry so he goes out of his way to let you know he wont be available for whatever reason.

But really, hes probably just trying to make you jealous or use it as an excuse to invite you out so you can hang out together.

Going out with his friends?

Its too easy to just ask you to come along so if you play into it, youll be invited along in no time.

That sounds fun, Id love to hang out with you guys sometime.  casual, but inviting. And then hell be inviting you before you know it.

5. He takes time with his texts

Many people dont get this, but stay away from the guys who offer you one-word answers!

Trust me, its just not worth it.

But when a guy gives you thoughtful responses that show they actually want to engage, then he probably likes you.

After all, when youre on your phone, youve got unlimited opportunities of what you could do and whom you could talk to.

You could be watching Netflix, he could spend time chatting with any other girl, and he could be catching up with the news.

But no, hes decided to spend time crafting a response for you.

If that doesnt indicate that he likes you, then I dont know what does.

6. He initiates conversation

Is your man the first to text you?

Then give me a high five because thats a great sign.

You dont have to go looking for him  hell text you every morning like clockwork.

He wants you to know that youre the first thing he thinks about and to set the tone for the day.

When youre the one who has to always start the conversation thats usually a bad sign that you like him more than he likes you.

See wait a bit and practice a little patience. If he texts you first, you can bet your bottom dollar hes into you.

7. He responds back quickly

Dont ya just hate the guys who take AGES to respond?

Well, thats a good thing, because they probably dont like you.

Unless theyre super desperate and theyre trying to act cool by not texting you for days.

Thats more common than you might think.

But for now, assume that if he texts you back right away he definitely likes you.

Hes engaged in the conversation and he wants to spend his free time on the phone with you.

I learned this from relationship guru Amy North. Shes the worlds leading expert on texting men.

If you want to generate intense chemistry with your man over text, watch Amys simple and genuine video here.

Most men dont think about relationships in a logical way. At least not in the way women do.

What men really care about is how the relationship makes them feel.

The simple truth is that your man wants to feel like hes found the absolute best woman for him. Like hes won the game of love.

Amy North will give you the exact texts you need to send to him to do this.

Heres a link to her free video again.

8. You spend your entire day texting each other

From breakfast to bedtime, you update each other on lunch, meetings, phone calls, and sad Deborah from accountings outburst at the end of the day.

You tell each other everything as if you want to be sharing your days together in real life.

9. If a guy is into you, he is going to start texting you a little differently than normal

This kind of weirdness will usually come out in terms of weird jokes when he is texting.

Perhaps hell try a little hard with his texts and try to impress you by making you laugh.

It can also play out in terms of banter and jokes. If he is constantly telling jokes or playfully teasing you, then theyre probably interested in you.

Dont let it weird you out  just keep playing it cool and hell come around.

Once he settles down and realizes that you are into him too, hell relax.

10. Is he complimenting you?

Compliments are a great way to gauge a guys interest. Of course, many guys can give compliments when they dont really mean it if they want to get you in the sack.

But if they truly like you, theyll probably start complimenting you on subtle things that you may not be aware of.

It could be some rare photos on your Facebook and observations about your behavior.

It could be unique tidbits about your personality, or they could notice subtle changes in your hairstyle in your latest Instagram photo.

In fact, sometimes it may not even be a compliment, but the fact that theyve noticed that youve changed your hairstyle or used different make-up.

If they notice, it means theyre paying attention to you, and they probably like you.

Also, not many guys are great at giving compliments, so keep your wits about you and notice when he says something that could even be remotely viewed as a compliment.

If youve noticed that he doesnt really compliment others when he texts you, then he probably likes you.

11. Hes trying to work out if you have a boyfriend

Now its fairly obvious that if he asks you, Do you have a boyfriend? then hes clearly interested.

But not many guys are going to be that direct. Instead, theyll ask indirect questions to figure it out.

Perhaps theyll mention that theyre single in the hope that it forces you to say me too.

Or theyll ask things like, Oh, so you went alone to the party?

If youre looking out for it, it will be pretty easy to notice.

You could mention that you are indeed single and watch for their reaction. If it produces a smile from the guy, then hes definitely into you.

12. He remembers little things

Guys arent the best when it comes to remembering the little things.

So if he remembers that you had your brothers birthday party the night before and hes asking you how it went, then he probably likes you.

Hes thinking about you. He wants to stay connected and develop rapport.

Most people, let alone guys, wouldnt do this, so see it as a sign that he has genuine feelings for you.

13. He wants to help you with your problems

Guys are problem solvers. And when it comes to a person they like, they want to find a solution to every problem they hear about.

Furthermore, they want to impress you with their solutions.

So if you mention a problem you have, and he likes you, hell likely scan his brain searching for solutions.

A guy that likes you will go the extra mile. Theyll want to be your hero that saves the day.

14. Hes teasing you

Weve all heard this one before. A guy who likes you teases you. Sound familiar?

No matter what age they are, guys have a habit of teasing a female theyre interested in.

Remember in Kindergarten when a boy would pull a girls hair? Yep, he liked her.

Guys do this because they want attention and they want to be funny. Teasing is basically a way of telling you they like you.

Remember, some guys will do this a little awkwardly, and they might not be very good at it. They might even insult you.

But theres no need to get insulted. After all, theyre just trying to let you know that they like you!

15. He laughs at everything you say

Theres no denying it.

He likes you when he thinks youre the funniest person on the planetespecially when youre clearly not.

If he is saying haha or lol to everything you say then thats clearly a good sign.

So if youre wondering if he likes you, theres an easy way to find out:

Tell a lame joke and see how he reacts. If he laughs, he likes you (or is ultra polite). And if he doesnt laugh, or at least make you feel good about your attempted joke, then he might not like you.

Just keep in mind that our sense of trying to make people feel important and acknowledged when we like them is so high that we will go out of our way to make ourselves look silly (aka laughing when we shouldnt be) so that the other person is raised up.

Love is a tricky thing, isnt it?

16. He is drunk texting you

Well, you cant get much more obvious than this, can you?

Have you heard the saying: A drunk persons words are a sober persons thoughts?

Alcohol has a way of making you honest with your emotions. So if theyre calling you or texting you when theyre drunk, its a great sign that they like you.

It might not be the love letter you were hoping for, but rest assured, if hes thinking about you when his guard is down, its because he really cares about you.

Try to see past the spelling mistakes and potential crude language.

If it becomes common, then you might want to ask him out.

However, watch out for the men that drunk call or text you only at 2 am on a Saturday night. They might just be looking for a booty call.

The fact of the matter is, theyve been out since at least 9 pm and theyve only contacted you at 2 am. Stay away from those guys!

RELATED:The Hero Instinct: How Can You Trigger It In Your Man?

17. He says he wishes you werent just texting.

He eludes to wanting more than just a word-based relationship every now and then and says things such as we should hang out sometime in a casual, no-big-deal-kind-of-way.

18. The messages just keep on coming

One after another, you just keep getting more and more messages. The object of your affection is obviously interested in talking to you.

19. Theres a lot of back and forth

Quick, funny, and on point, your messages just seem to gel together. Its exciting and fast-paced and it makes you a little nervous of what might be said next.

No waiting here

You dont need to wait for them to respond; those messages drop faster than you can respond. They arent playing any games. Getting and keeping your attention is the number one priority here.

20. Hello, Sweetie

Pet names, anyone? If youre getting into the pet name territory, its surely sexual tension youre dealing with here. Dont let it freak you out. Its easier to write things than it is to say them out loud.

With so many distractions in the modern world (and other women around), its a must to grab your mans attention.

Ive recently come across aunique set of psychological triggersthat are guaranteed to get your mans attention. Relationship expert Amy North calls them attention hooks.

These are the same triggers that Hollywood screenwriters use to draw audiences into their movies and series.

Have you ever been so hooked on a TV show you couldnt stop watching?

Something at the end of each episode made you click Watch Next Episode again and again. Almost as if you couldnt help yourself.

Amy North has taken these exact Hollywood techniques and adapted them for texting men.

Text messages with attention hooks are powerful because they tap directly into the focus system of a mans brain. Without even realizing it, hell start paying more attention to you.

Even if hes miles away or you havent spoken to him in a while.

If you want to learn more about attention hooks and how to use them in your text messages,check out this great free video by Amy North.

21. They check in on you

Random days and times mean youll get a text asking about your day and wondering how things are going. If youve had a bad day, you might even get a video message or two.

22. They apologize

If theyve messed up, pride doesnt get in the way of the all-important apology. They know its more important to keep the lines of communication open than to let pride get in the way.

23. They compliment you

Beautiful, funny, charming, smart  youll get it all.

You might be wondering whats going on with all the text compliments, but take them at face value: if someone is saying these things to you, its because they believe it and want you to believe it too.

24. You have inside jokes with one another

Youve been doing this so long that youve developed a whole routine around jokes and inside stories. You share things others dont and its not funny to anyone but the two of you. That kind of chemistry doesnt just happen.

25. They just keep telling you more and more about them

They feel comfortable enough to share a lot of information with you. That transcends the friend zone.

26. There are messages waiting for you when you wake up

They are thinking about you as soon as they wake up and want to make sure you think about them as soon as you wake up.

Whats the best way to do that? Send you a text message that you cant miss when you pick up your phone in the morning.

27. How to tell for sure if a guy likes you

Want to know the best way to tell if a guy likes you? Ask him through text. Or let him know you like him. This isnt high school, and theres no need for games.

Cut the chase and let him know you think hes cool and hell either say the same or tell you hes not interested.

If thats not your style, and granted, its not a lot of peoples style, keep paying attention to how he acts texts, if he flirts with you, how he takes in what you have to say, and if he makes an effort by constantly chatting to you.

28. He wants to ramp things up and face time with you

This is an obvious sign that he likes you because he wants to have an actual conversation with you. He is trying to build rapport and make sure you get along.

This is a great sign that he likes you and wants to move things along!

29. Hes copying your writing slang and style

This is a big sign that a guy likes you. Its something we all do subconsciously when were talking with someone we like. Its called mirroring.

When youre texting this guy, heres what to watch out for:

Is he copying the same slang youre using? Is he replying back in a similar amount of sentences to what youre writing?
Is he always trying to agree with you and act like you?

If he likes you, hell subconsciously try to text more like you. If you use a lot of emojis, then what ya know! He is also using a lot of emojis. This is something all humans do naturally when they like someone.

30. Its important to remember that people express interest in different ways

If hes an alpha male and confident, then hell be pretty forward that he likes you.

Hes not going to come out and say it, but texts will be pretty direct to present you with clues.

If hes the shy or anxious type, then its going to be a little more difficult.

The anxious/avoidant types will generally appear aloof, so it might take more time to develop rapport so they get more comfortable.

Once theyre comfortable, it should be the same as an alpha male though.

Most guys realize that they have to make the first move if anything is going to happen.

Also, keep in mind that most girls will wait for the guy to make the first move.

Send him these texts and see how he responds

One of the best ways to figure out if a guy likes you is to send him some of the below texts and see how he responds.

Some of the texts might be a little bit forward but his response will tell you all you need to know.

And anyway, time is valuable, so its efficient to text him and see how he feels rather than going through all of the signs below.

1. Send a morning text

Texting her first thing in the morning is an excellent way to show him that hes on your mind at the start of the day.

And how he responds will tell you if youre on his mind or not.

Try these:

Morning, dork. If you get along well and youve built rapport, hell smile at this cute message. If he responds by asking you a question like what youre up to today, then you know he likes you.

I hope you have a fantastic day. Youre just looking for a response here. if he says you too  then thats a good sign.

Am I the only one who had a dream about us last night? This is a great, flirty text you can send. If he likes you, hell play along and be very curious about what the dream involved.

2. Send love messages

Sometimes pushing the envelope can be a good thing. Youll know where you stand immediately if you send her one of the below love messages.

Try these:

I only saw you for 15 minutes, but it absolutely made my day If you havent gone on a date with him yet, then use the length of time you were talking with him when you got his number. What he responds to this text message will tell you a lot about whether he likes you or not.

And I thought you couldnt be any more attractive Say this when he says something about himself to you. Itll make her feel good.

Im thinking about you. That is all :) Definitely shows youre interested. How he responds will indicate what he is feeling about you.

3. Send a good night text to him

Sending him a good night message is cute. Hell see that you care about her.

Try some of these:

Good night! I cant wait to see you in. (You can use this when youve made an arrangement to meet.)

-Well, its about time for me to start dreaming about youGood night! (Hell respond very positively to this message if he likes you.

In the end, if you take action to show him how you feel, not only will you let him know that you like him, but his reaction will reveal how he feels.

As a woman, sometimes you need to throw some bait out there and see if he catches it.

After all, time is a sparse resource and the quicker you make a move, the quicker youll find out if anything can happen between the two of you.

If youre looking to learn how to make a move, then you might also be interested in these articles:

  • How to flirt like a pro: 27 incredible tips
  • How to get a guy to ask you out: 16 ways to get him to make a move
  • How to ask a guy out over text in a cute way (A step-by-step guide)

Summing it up

How good is YOUR texting game?

If you want a guy to like you over text, then you first need to capture his attention.

But with so many distractions in the modern world (and other women around), how do you really grab a mans attention? So that hes thinking about you and only you?

Ive recently come across a unique set of psychological triggers that are guaranteed to get your mans attention. Relationship expert Amy North calls them attention hooks.

These attention hooks are the same triggers that Hollywood screenwriters use to draw audiences into their movies and keep them watching the entire show.

Have you ever been so hooked on a TV show you couldnt stop watching?

Amy North has taken these exact Hollywood techniques and adapted them for texting men.

Text messages with attention hooks are so powerful because they tap directly into the focus system of a mans brain. Without even realizing it, hell start thinking about you and paying attention to you.

Even if hes miles away or you havent spoken in a while.

If you want to learn more about attention hooks and how to use them in your text messages, check out this great free video by Amy North.

I think learning how to properly capture peoples attention is important in many areas of life. But especially when it comes to relationships.

Because when a mans attention is elsewhere, its impossible for him to develop deep feelings of attraction towards you. Only when you fully have his attention will he start to wonder what youre doing, what you think of him, and when hell get to see you next.

Heres a link to Amys excellent video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

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