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Texting is one of the easiest and most popular ways to stay in touch.
We send a whopping 18.7 billion texts worldwide every day, and thats not even including app messaging.
Whether its your friends or your crush, for many of us texting is the main way we communicate.
The problem is that it does have its downsides. Its much harder to read people over text messages than it is in real life.
How can you tell if someone is bored of texting you? Here are 15 obvious signs.
1) They only use emojis
They say a picture is worth a thousand words and when it comes to emojis that might be the case.
They may seem like just a bit of fun, but emojis serve a really important function.
All those winky faces, smiley faces, and hearts that we add to our messages act as a substitution for the non-verbal cues we normally give off in face-to-face conversations.
Without body language that shows how we feel or tone of voice, it can be difficult to interpret the context of what someone is saying.
Pretty much all of us have taken something the wrong way over text message before, or read too much into something. Emojis help to clarify our feelings.
When words fail us, we might just send an emoji in response to a message. But if someone constantly replies to you by only sending an emoji, its a sign they could be bored of texting you.
Thats because emojis are also the lazy way to respond (the same goes for GIFs and stickers too).
Emojis should be used to support what youre saying, not as a total replacement for writing.
2) They never text you first
Many of the same rules apply to having a conversation over text as they do in real life.
We engage in a chat to show interest in the other person.
But if you were always the one to approach someone in real life and start talking, and they never approached you you might start to suspect they dont really want to chat with you.
The same can be said for the technology world too.
It can be a bit tricky as some people are shy, or a girl might be trying to play it cool by not messaging you first.
But generally speaking, if you are always the one to text first, its not a good sign and suggests they might be bored of you.
3) They dont ask you questions
Questions are a clear signal to someone that we are participating in a conversation and the other persons green light to carry on talking.
Asking questions is such a strong social cue that research has found we tend to like people more who ask them.
In a study, participants ratings of each other showed people who were told to ask a lot of questions came across as more responsive, and therefore more likable, compared with those who were told to ask few questions.
Sometimes the conversation flows effortlessly back and forth without much need for questions. If so, great.
But if they want to keep the conversation going and are interested in you, they will show it by asking questions, and follow-up questions. It proves that you are listening to what someone is saying.
If they arent particularly interested in asking you about anything you are saying, they could be bored. The same goes for if they ask only very simple questions.
According to Psychology Today, interested people tend to ask more complicated questions that show curiosity, not mere politeness.
4) Theyve stopped replying to every message
They may not have resorted to full-on ghosting, but they have stopped replying to every message you send.
Its almost like they are ignoring you.
Maybe if you just send a simple text like an emoji or a hey, they dont bother to respond. Ignoring or glossing over photos, links, or memes that you send could suggest something is up.
They will still chat if you ask a question or after you send a couple of messages in a row, but they arent responsive to everything you send.
Responsiveness is a big indicator of someones interest. So if theyre not replying to you, they are likely bored.
5) They send short responses
We all know a dry texter. They are the ones who respond with ok or cool.
Basically, dry texting is what happens when someone gives you a short and not particularly engaging reply in a texting conversation.
It can make you paranoid and quickly leave you wondering if something is up. Are they annoyed at you? Are they bored of you?
Sometimes its just part of someones personality and we shouldnt take it personally. For example, you might be dealing with an introvert or just a boring texter.
This type of messaging can not only be exhausting because the other person isnt adding anything to the conversation, but it is also a sign they are bored texting you.
Repeatedly sending one-word answers isnt good. If they were engaged in the conversation, youd expect them to say more.
6) Their messages arent enthusiastic
Rather than just one thing alone, enthusiasm is a vibe we give off.
We show our enthusiasm (or lack of it) in texting through the way in which we respond.
Examples of unenthusiastic texting habits are:
- Random, low-effort messages that arent going anywhere.
- Shorter replies that dont offer explanation or details.
- Constant excuses for why they cant chat.
- Promises to check in later, but they never do.
- Always saying they were too busy to reply any sooner.
The reality is that when we are interested in someone, or we value them, we prioritize them. The less of a priority you are, the less significant you are to someone.
7) They take a long time to reply
Sure, we can all accidentally forget the odd message and its not necessarily a big deal.
Similarly, if youre at work, out with friends, at the cinema, etc. its a pretty legitimate reason for not replying to someone as promptly.
We can be a bit too sensitive when were waiting for a response from someone. Minutes may feel like hours when your crush hasnt texted you back yet.
What is a long time to wait for a text reply? Thats a pretty subjective question. This is why its better to look at past behavior as well as any particular time limits.
- They used to reply straight away, but now it takes hours before they respond.
- They dont offer any excuse or reason for the slow reply.
- They frequently go the whole day or over 24 hours before responding.
How do you know if someone is bored of you? These are clear signs that they arent particularly bothered about talking to you anymore.
8) They leave you on read (or unread)
Read receipts can feel like torture.
It used to be that your heart would only sink if you saw the message had been read days ago, and they still hadnt replied.
But intentionally not opening a message has become a popular way to get around message notifications, so its not particularly comforting even if your message goes unread for a long time.
Its slightly worse to leave someone on read, as they will see we have seen the message. So the assumption is they dont care if you know theyre ignoring you.
If they come back with a genuine excuse, theyll likely have a more specific reason like I was at work, in a meeting, with my mom, etc.
But leaving someone on read and forgetting to reply one too many times is a sign they are bored with texting you.
9) Theyre always the one to exit the conversation first
All text conversations are going to come to an end at some point.
That means one person is either going to say something along the lines of Ive gotta go or will not reply to the last message sent.
Often texting comes to a natural conclusion, where you both just know that youre done. But pay attention to whether it is always them that leaves the chat, or stops replying first.
It could be a clue that theyre not interested in chatting with you.
10) You send way more messages than them
It doesnt have to be straight down the line 50/50, but it should be pretty close.
Take a look at your phone and the message exchange between you. Does one color stand out way more than the other?
Perhaps there are lines and lines of text you send in comparison to a few scattered lines in between highlighting the messages theyve sent you.
If youre making up most of the conversation (around 80% or more), experts say this is a sign the other person is bored.
11) They dont contribute anything meaningful to the conversation
Its not just how much someone messages you that helps you figure out if theyre bored, its also how they show up.
Conversations have to be a two-way street in order to flow properly (otherwise it becomes more like a monolog).
New York Times bestseller author Gretchin Rubin says unbalanced conversations are a big giveaway that someone isnt interested in talking to you.
In general, people who are interested in a subject have things to say themselves; they want to add their own opinions, information, and experiences. If they arent doing that, theyre probably keeping quiet in the hopes that the conversation will end faster.
12) They mirror your message instead of saying something new
We can all find ourselves stumped every now and then for something to say. A conversation does require effort.
If they cant think of anything to say and dont really want to put in that effort then you may notice they start to mirror back what youve said instead.
For example, maybe you send a message saying Wow, its so cold today, I thought I was going to freeze on my way home. And they just reply yeah, its freezing.
That is mirroring. Rather than add anything new, they piggyback off what you say, and add nothing else. Its essentially the lazy way to text.
People who are bored are more likely to repeat statements instead of creating an original message.
13) They randomly change the subject
If youre chatting away about something, but rather than participate, the other person totally changes the subject, then you can assume they were bored.
When we are totally tactless or insensitive in changing the subject, it highlights that we werent paying attention.
In engaged conversations, topics tend to change more gradually as new themes are introduced.
So if they go totally off-topic all of a sudden, it suggests they werent so interested in your original conversation.
14) You never talk for very long
As a general rule, the longer we talk to someone, the more interested we are in the conversation.
If you only ever talk briefly and infrequently, then they could be bored of you texting them.
All relationships, whether friendship or romantic, take an investment of time. How much time is different for everyone.
Some people genuinely arent big on texting and would rather connect face to face. But if they are interested in building and maintaining a relationship with you, they will make time to talk to you.
If they cant find that time for you, it tells you how they feel.
Is it normal for texting to get boring?
According to the Pew Research Center, 72% of teenagers text regularly, and one in three sends more than 100 texts per day. Even adult text message users apparently send or receive an average of 41.5 messages a day.
Thats a lot of messages. Lets face it, life isnt always quite so eventful, so is it any wonder that we run out of things to talk about.
Its made more challenging when were still getting to know someone. When its your bestie who youve known forever, its easier to know what to say.
When its a crush or new love interest, its common to wonder what to say when a conversation gets boring with a guy, or worry if a girl is getting bored of texting you.
But heres the good news its totally normal for texting to get boring sometimes. Even when you are really interested in someone, conversation lulls are usual.
The other person might be tired, stressed out, or feeling unwell. We also all have different texting habits, so theres not a standard one-size-fits-all normal way to text.
As Pricilla Martinez, relationship coach told Cosmopolitan its important to remember that we all use text messages differently, so its best not to jump to quick conclusions. They may even be sick of texting and want you to make a move.
For some, texting is just a tool to make plans to meet up. Dont assume the conversation is drying up because theyre not interested.
But if you notice a lot of the red flags on the list, then sadly someone could be bored of texting you.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
Whats your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car youve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle thatll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, youre not going to get there, unless youve got a plan.
And even thenplans fail.
But I didnt write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom
No, Im writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals youve set.
Ive recently been taking part in a workshop calledLife Journalcreated by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on whats needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesnt mess around this workshop will require effort on your part but thats the beauty of it Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
Click here to find out more about Life Journal.
Sothink back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshophere.
If you do take part, Id love to hear how yourLife Journeygoes!
All the best,
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