how to start a conversation with a guy you dont know over text

If you want to start a chat with a guy you like, you can do it face to face or text. Youre gonna text, right? Heres what to text a guy to impress him.Gone are the days of waiting f

how to start a conversation with a guy you dont know over text

If you want to start a chat with a guy you like, you can do it face to face or text. Youre gonna text, right? Heres what to text a guy to impress him.

Gone are the days of waiting for a man to approach you and make a move. Women are becoming more and more confident in their abilities to ask a man out when they want to  and about time! But that doesnt make it easy  you might still need some help knowing what to text a guy to start a conversation.

Even the most confident women can struggle to come up with something clever or cute to say. Something that makes this a lot easier is doing it over a text message, but that doesnt take away the hardship.

You want to be flirty but not overly so. And you want to be clever but not too sarcastic. How do you find the balance and decide what to text a guy to start a conversation? [Read: The 35 best text conversation starters for the shy and socially awkward]

Why that first conversation is so important

Lets take the crushing part out of it for now. Forget that you want to go on a date. Try to push aside the idea of asking him out. First, see him as a person that you want to start a conversation with and get to know.

You never know, maybe after talking to him for a little while, you decide that you really dont want to embark on that first date after all!

So, you need to try and start a conversation before you let your mind wander further. You need to text him, get chatting, and see where it leads. Sure, that can be hard when youre super attracted to the guy, but remember, its about personality more than anything else.

If his conversation is no good, the rest is not going to be any good either. [Read: How to talk to people in a charming way no matter who they are]

What to text a guy you have your sights set on

With texting becoming the primary means of talking to someone, it only makes sense for you to make your move via texting  especially if the two of you already have a nice dynamic going. But the trouble is finding just what to text a guy so he knows how you feel without scaring him away.

Before we get to what to text a guy when you want to start a conversation, we should first go over some texting ground rules. [Read: How to start a conversation over text with anyone and kick off the flirtiest banter!]

1. Never send multiple unanswered texts

Nothing screams CLINGY like sending text after text when he hasnt even replied yet. We get that youre eager to talk to him because you like him, but this makes you look desperate.

If you want to know what to text a guy to start a conversation, it shouldnt be a double text  ever. [Read: The most common texting habits of girls that push guys away]

2. Never text him after 12am

Some people may know of these other unspoken rules, but this one might be new to you. We say you should never text a guy after midnight because most guys take that as a booty call sign  something you most definitely dont want to be seen as if youre looking to date him.

Try to keep your texting to normal waking hours. [Read: 18 things you accidentally do that make guys think youre an easy lay]

3. No sex-talk

You can most definitely be flirty and fun without having to talk about sex with a guy. While you may get his attention with sex, it will be the wrong type of attention overall if youre looking for something deeper.

You can make sexy jokes, but keep it PG-13 for now.

4. When he says he has to go, dont text him

This is a big mistake that most girls make, and it comes off as super clingy in a guys eyes. When he says he has to do something and cant talk anymore, dont send him texts while hes away.

If he has his phone on him, itll be really annoying, and if he doesnt, itll be overwhelming when he finally does look at his phone. [Read: 21 clear signs of a clingy girl and how to avoid being one]

5. Dont let the conversation die

Conversations that go flat quickly never result in a good relationship. Knowing what to text a guy is about consistency.

You want to keep things flowing naturally and never force it. Think of topics to talk about, and if you find something he seems chatty about, stick to it for a while.

6. Accident-proof your texting habits

Its always a good idea to draft your first message on your phone somewhere else, e.g. your notes app, rather than straight into the message. If you want to change it, what if you accidentally press send? Theres no way to get it back!

Drafting in your notes app means you can read it, re-read it, tweak it, and read it again before you paste it into the message box and send it. [Read:How to know when to stop texting a guy]

7. Steer clear of slang and too many emojis

When it comes to knowing how to start a conversation with a guy over text, keep your language normal, and avoid those annoying slang terms and emoji overkill.

We might be a little old fashioned here, but Hey, how R U doesnt make us want to date someone, it makes us want to give them an English lesson! Seriously, it takes seconds to write something properly, so put in the time.

Also, go easy on the emojis. By all means, use them, but make sure there are more words in there than emojis. [Read:15 unwritten texting rules you have to remember]

Make peace with being the instigator

It might be that youre not entirely comfortable with being the one who makes the first move, but its something you should embrace and make peace with. Its likely that for the first few texts at least, youre going to be steering the conversation. [Read:What to text a guy when youre making the first move]

Youre asking questions and trying to think of the next thing to say. Thats fine and totally normal. Remember, the guy is probably feeling a little nervous and not sure what to say too!

This is where having a plan also helps. Whilst were not trying to turn this into a brainstorming project, it doesnt hurt to think about things before you text and come up with a few interesting questions to ask and things to say.

Remember, there is going to be a natural lull in the conversation, because life happens and maybe dinner is ready, or your guy needs to go out. Its fine, and it will restart if hes interested. He gave you his number, so thats a good sign!

Look for clues in his messages and try and ascertain how he feels about the conversation. If youre not feeling it, its fine to back off a little. Guys are guys, and that means hes going to wonder why youve slowed down and want to know where you are!

We dont advocate game playing, but sometimes you need to play a guy at his own game a little! [Read:15 things guys do differently when they text a girl they like]

What to text a guy to keep him hooked

Now that you know what to avoid when texting a guy, we can get to the good stuff. You know the how, but here comes the what.

When you want to start a conversation with a guy over text for the very first time, try these text examples and ideas. For sure, striking up a brand new conversation can be nerve-wracking, but at least youre not face-to-face! [Read: How to talk to anyone  Master the art of a real conversationalist]

1. Hey there, remember me?

2. I wanted to say something witty, but my mind went blank

3. Hey there, how was your day? [Read: How to hold a conversation and make people love talking to you]

4. Did you see the game last night? I cant believe it!

5. Think of a shared interest [Read: How to text a guy first  24 ballsy examples thatll leave him wanting more of you]

6. Lets settle this  Were Ross and Rachel on a break?

7. I enjoyed meeting you and wanted to talk to you again!

8. Send a funny GIF or meme youve seen [Read: How to be a fun texter and make them laugh while reading your texts]

9. I was thinking about today and I cant believe what . said

10. Ive got a bottle of wine, a great movie, and no one to keep me company. What are you up to tonight?

11. Have you heard the latest from *your favorite band*?

12. What are you up to tonight?

13. Are you a coffee drinker? [Read: 14 great reasons why girls should ask guys out directly]

14. What are you binge watching right now?

15. Youre a lot of fun through texting, but how much fun are you in person?

16. There really isnt anyone else that I like talking to this much

17. Look at my cute animal! *and of course, send a picture!*

18. So, theres this party I got invited to, but I think its going to be pretty lame. Do you want to come with me so at least theres one fun person to hang out with?

19. What is your ideal date? [Read: The secret guide to attracting men in a way they cant resist]

20. Why dont we talk about this over dinner?

21. You know what, lets go out sometime

22. Lets forego the small talk. I like you [Read: How to make small talk without feeling awkward]

23. Ive had a boring day, surely yours was more exciting?

24. What are you up to this weekend? [Read:60 get to know you questions for a new romance]

25. Ive been so stressed out at work today, any tips on how to destress?

26. Whats your star sign?

27. Did you see the news today? What do you think about . *insert interesting story*

28. What was the highlight of your day?

29. I cant decide what to make for dinner, any ideas? [Read:Foodie dates: 15 trendy dinner ideas for new couples]

30. How did your *insert something you talked about before* go today?

31. Im trying to book a vacation, where do you think I should go?

32. I have a presentation tomorrow, help me calm down please!

33. Lets settle it  pineapple on pizza; yes or no? [Read:20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]

34. I saw your Facebook update, your photo looks cool!

35. Have you ever sent an embarrassing text?

36. Have you ever text someone and been really nervous about it? [Read:How not to be nervous for a date and feel super calm instead]

37. What is your favorite song?

38. I need a new Netflix obsession, any recommendations?

39. Describe your perfect day in five words

40. Youve won the lottery, what will you buy?

41. Help me out  iPhone or Samsung?

42. Adulthood sucks sometimes, what do you miss about being a child? [Read:Relationship facts  The real facts of love no one talks about]

43. What is your favorite smell?

44. Wanna meet up? *just go for it!* [Read:How to ask a guy out like a real classy girl]

When to ask him out

When you have been texting back and forth for a while and youre pretty sure theres a spark, when should you ask him out? Maybe theyll ask you and you wont have to think about it! If there is no question coming your way, be the one to do it.

Go on, be brave! [Read:How to ask a guy out and get the answer you want]

You can do this very casually, Ive been going to this really cute coffee shop lately, do you fancy joining me? Or Theres a band on next week I really want to see, do you want to come? If he says yes, fantastic. If he doesnt respond in the way you want him to, shrug it off and move on.

Seriously, there are plenty more fish in the sea, and nobody has time for an uninterested guy! If the conversation has been going well so far, the chances of him refusing a meet up are extremely slim and should give you the confidence to take your texts to face-to-face meetings.

[Read:The no-fail signs the guy youre texting really likes you too]

Knowing what to text a guy to start a conversation can be difficult, but you just need to know where you want things to go. That first text will guide you there.

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