What are deep questions to ask a girl?

Youve got solid banter with your new significant other, trying to outwit each other, tossing back and forth excellently executed compliments. By now, youve spent enough time next t

What are deep questions to ask a girl?

Youve got solid banter with your new significant other, trying to outwit each other, tossing back and forth excellently executed compliments. By now, youve spent enough time next to each other watching Bridgerton that youre craving that Duke and Duchess of Hastings type of intimacy. Its time to sit down and make the time for some intense questions. Take a deep dive into each others souls and get into it.

When you first start dating, questions and conversations help you to explore if you're a good match. As the relationship progresses, understanding what the other person needs to take care of their mind and body, supporting their dreams, and knowing what makes them feel fulfilled and joyful can keep the connection strong.

Relationships, like our bodies, need maintenance," says Carol Bruess, PhD, professor and relationship social scientist. "Making time for deep conversations, ones during which we prioritize fully hearing and listening with an open mind and heart to anothers stories is a relationship vitamin.

Conversations like this can also be a good way to experience each others energy. Now, when you think of deep questions to ask your SO, youre probably thinking theyre going to unload all of their trauma. But clinical psychologist Katya Burdo, PhD, says that it isnt your responsibility to carry that pain and it is better to focus on what brings the other joy rather than what has brought each other pain in the past.

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No matter what you talk about, spending intentional time actively listening to and speaking to your partner with the utmost vulnerability will build your bond.

Relationships are created, sustained, changed, and nourished through conversations," Bruess says. "Intentionally giving others our attention, the kind where our entire body, mind, soul is fully present, where we are radically listening to another, soaking in whatever they are saying, expressing, sharing, or even what they are not sayingis one of the most intimate, nourishing acts in a relationship."

How To Take Time For Deep Conversations

Try to routinely set aside time so that you can prioritize these deep conversations. Bruess recommends aiming for these talks once a week.

A couple can create a simple daily or weekly ritual for nourishing their connection: declaring Sunday morning coffee as 15 minutes of conversation time during which they share two things from the past week that they appreciated about the other and one thing they need from each other in the week ahead, says Bruess. Coffee and a nice convo are a perfect way to start the week and a great step toward committing to each other. Relationships are daily choices, Bruess adds.

Ahead, find a list of questions to get those deep convos flowing. They'll help you jumpstart the talking. Just let it flow from there.

Questions About Happiness

Knowing when your partner feels happiest can help you better understand them. And when both of you know when the other feels most free and fulfilled, it's easier to encourage the conditions that foster joy.

  1. When do you feel most free?
  2. When do you feel most joyful?
  3. When do you feel most fulfilled?
  4. What aspects of your work make you feel these ways?
  5. What aspects of spending time with others make you feel these ways?
  6. What aspects of spending time with me make you feel these ways?

Questions About Dreams

These kinds of questions are helpful for managing expectations, says Jocelyn Charnas, PhD, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Manhattan. Youd be surprised how often I sit in my office with a new couple and they havent done a lot of communication on very specific things in terms of where they want to live and even if they want to have children, she says.

Even if your partners ideal situation isnt totally realistic or likely to happen, it can get you to talk about your own perfect scenario and how these two match up, she says. Keep in mind, though, that they dont necessarily have to be aligned, one to one, Charnas says.

Plus, supporting each other's dreams, no matter how unrealistic and improbable they may be, is imperative in connecting with your partner. Expressing your dreams with each other will help both of you reach alignment within yourself and find fulfillment and joy.

  1. Where should our next trip be?
  2. What do you imagine our next house looks like?
  3. Where do you really want to live?
  4. What has excited you recently?
  5. What does your ideal day look like?
  6. What does your ideal life look like?
  7. What hobby do you wish you could pursue?
  8. What do you imagine our life together looks like in the future?
  9. What would you do for a year if you were free to do whatever you wanted?

Questions About Self Care

Burdo says valuing self-care and the relationship with yourself is the greatest way to prepare yourself for intimacyand for creating a deeper bond with your SO. It's important to understand what your partner needs to take care of themselves, and how much time and space they need alone.

It tells you what they like and what makes them feel good," says licensed clinical psychologist Juanita Guerra, PhD. This also can help you see whats most important to themand thats info you can mine in the future when it comes to treating them well.

  1. What is the best way for me to tell you that I am out of balance?
  2. How are you most comfortable letting me know that you are out of balance?
  3. What do you do to take care of yourself?
  4. How much space/time do you need for yourself?
  5. How can I support you in taking care of yourself?
  6. When you are out of balance what do you need from me?
  7. What does your perfect day look like?
  8. How can I be more supportive of you in day-to-day life?

Questions About Relationships

Even though it isnt your responsibility to deal with your partners pain, it is always good to be sensitive so that when you do or say something you can understand the reaction of the person, Burdo says. With these questions, you can find what bothers your partner, and find out how this relationship is bringing them joy.

Self-disclosures are thought to be one of the reasons why people start to like each other in the first place, says William Chopik, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Michigan State University and director of MSU's Close Relationships Lab. The act of opening up about relationships shows your partner thinks youre special enough to handle this kind of personal information. "Disclosing emotions and positive memories are likely good for relationships. It can even help give you both gratitude for each other, which helps bind couples together, Chopik says.

  1. What in this relationship has been hard for you to deal with?
  2. What in past relationships has been hard to deal with?
  3. What has made you feel not free?
  4. How have you felt fulfilled in our relationship?
  5. When have you been most joyful in our relationship?
  6. What would you enjoy doing more of together?
  7. In the past week, what are you most grateful for in this relationship?
  8. What worries you?
  9. What ticks you off?
  10. Are your needs being met?
  11. What scares you the most?
  12. Whats your favorite date that weve been on?

Josey Murray is the editorial fellow at Women's Health. She's passionate about storytelling, sustainable wellness, and the plant-based lifestyle. When she's not writing, she loves learning about mushrooms and discovering new wellness products.

Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Mens Health, Womens Health, Self, Glamour, and more. She has a masters degree from American University, lives by the beach, and hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.

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