what does it mean when you cant stop thinking about someone you barely know

Introduction About How To Stop Or No Longer Think About Someone All The TimeIt's time to stop: if youve recently broken up with an intimate partner or have an interest in someone w

what does it mean when you cant stop thinking about someone you barely know

Introduction About How To Stop Or No Longer Think About Someone All The Time

It's time to stop: if youve recently broken up with an intimate partner or have an interest in someone who doesnt even seem to know youre alive, you may bewondering how to stop thinking about someone, all the time. In this article, we talk about what can happen if you find yourself thinking about the same person all the time  and you cant seem to stop.

When A Healthy Crush On Someone Becomes An Obsession

Theres a fine line between normal healthy behavior like finding people attractive and moving on, and anobsessionwith thinking about someone constantly. Its human nature to thinkabout your romantic affair partnerwhen youve taken marriage vows or are in a new relationship. Its also normal to have thoughts and memories of romantic partners and important people in your life long after the failed relationship has ended.

Whats not normal is when you start to obsess, ruminate, and the object of your affection becomes the object of your obsession. If you find that youre constantly thinking about someone long enough to check in to your own daily life and thoughts of someone else are taking over your life, this can quickly become a problem.

Obsessing another person can develop into more detrimental behaviors like stalking, domestic violence, and other mental health-related concerns. To get to the bottom of the question, why do I keep thinking about someone? You have to ask yourself (and answer) thethe hard questions to pull out the downward spiral of obsession.

When youreobsessed with someone, this is normally because you think or feel that they are the only person who has something that you need and that their presence will somehow improve the circumstances of your life. This is rarely the case. If youre unable to find happiness and contentment within yourself  first, then youll have an even harder time trying to find it.

The key to learning how to stop yourself from thinking about a personis to spend time thinking about yourself.

What areas of your life feel chaotic or like they are in disarray? Ask yourself if you healed those issues, would thoughts of the object of your affection be as dominant? Or is constantly obsessing about this person pointing to a larger issue that you need to fix things.

I Don't Understand Why I Can't Stop Thinking About ThemThis website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.

When you cant stop yourself from thinking about someone, this is a sign that more serious issues are likely bubbling beneath the surface. Having to ask yourself, why cant I stop thinking about someone is a clear indicator that you need to check in with not only yourself but possibly a mental health professional to help you get to the bottom of the issue.

Constant Thinking - What to Do?

If constant thinking is taking over and you cannot stop obsessing about someone who youve recently broken up with or have an emotional attachment to, healthy adults understand that this is a normal part of the healing and grieving process; however when your every waking thought is consumed with the comings and goings of another person, this is a serious issue.

Question Yourself

What is causing you to obsess over this persons thoughts  especially in cases where similar interests or feelings are not returned. Are you obsessing over this person because you feel that theyre your soulmate, complete you, or is there another reason?

Healthy adultsrespect the natural ebb and flow of a relationship and understand that people and circumstances change and that regardless of whether youre in that existing relationship, friendship, career, etc. that youve been obsessing about that, the pain of grief and loss will subside with time.

Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Another reason that you may find yourself obsessing over your past or current relationship  especially if youre still in it is that youre experiencing symptoms ofobsessive-compulsive relationship disorder(ROCD). People who experience OCD struggle with feelings of worth for themselves, (such as believing they are a bad person) and their partner, and obsessively question the validity of their relationship.


Symptoms of ROCD are a constant questioning of yourself and your partner. Constantly asking questions like Do you still love me? Who is the other woman or man? and still not be assured by the answer when your partner gives you an answer  is a sign of relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder.

When The Obsession Becomes Unhealthy?

People with ROCD are obsessed with the concept of their relationships to where the obsession may even become debilitating. ROCD experiencers are concerned with two conflicting aspects of relationships: Having commitment issues, or the fear of being trapped in an undesirable or sub-par relationship, while simultaneously experiencing the fear of being alone when their lover ends things.

These conflicting beliefs often cancel each other out and leave those with ROCD in a tailspin as they work to resolve their conflicting emotions independently. In most cases, working out obsessive and repetitive thoughts on their own is not the answer.

Those diagnosed with ROCD are normally treated with a combination of talk therapy and medication management based on the severity of their diagnosis and the recommendation of a licensed and board-certified mental health professional, such as enrolling in couples therapy. For all guidance regarding medication, please consult a licensed medical professional.

Some Potential Treatments

Common treatments for ROCD include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy with response prevention (ERP), and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT).


Cognitive-behavior therapyhelps those diagnosed with ROCD recognize negative behaviors that contribute to their obsessive behavior and provides strategies for developing new coping skills and life skills to replace negative behaviors.

Exposure Therapy

Exposure therapygradually introduces clients to thestimulating situation, person, or circumstance that triggers their obsession with the guidance of their therapist. ERP therapy aims to gradually reduce the amount of anxiety or obsession a person feels about the originally offending circumstance.

Ways Therapy Can Help

Someone thinking about how they will heal.

A well-meaning close friend and family members often have their own opinions and can give good advice about how we should live our individual lives. While this is okay (to an extent) when it comes to getting to the bottom of deep-rooted issues, a licensed professional is the best way to go.

Mental health counselorsact as unbiased third-party that can point outdamaging behaviors and thought patterns that may cause obsession over someone. It may surprise you that when you cant stop yourself from thinking about someone and cross personal boundaries, the issues behind the obsession are with you  not the other party.

Stopping The Cycle

Outward expressions of obsession often have to do with unhealed pain within from when you feel rejected. Most times, the pain experienced during the loss of an emotional affair or relationship disconnect can turn inward and express itself in the form of a lack of self-worth, confusion, and obsession.

Learn New Coping Skills

In the cases where culminating circumstances and feelings turn outward, conditions like obsessive-compulsive relationship disorder can quickly develop and cause issues in your life. Clients who attend regular counseling sessions spend time learning new life coping skills and strategies, recognizing negative behavior patterns, and breaking negative cycles.

Where & How To Get Help

If you find that youre obsessing about someone for any of the reasons weve discussed so far, its time to get help from a professional. Alicensed therapistor other board-certified mental health providers can guide you along your journey andprovide you with coping strategiesand new life skills to help you deal with persistent issues with obsession.

Therapy Can Help

Taking part in therapy sessions with an in-office provider or an online therapist are both viable options whether its for marriage counseling or individual therapy. A married person or single person alike choose online therapy because of the convenience and cost of attending therapy virtually anywhere. Todays online therapy sessions are conducted via desktops, laptops, tablets, and mobile devices that connect clients and therapists in a confidential environment.

Clients and therapists can communicate via various virtual methods, including text chat, video messaging, audio chat, and SMS therapy. Leading relationship therapy providers ReGain.us provide relationship counseling services for couples at a fraction of the cost of in-office therapy.

The following are the licensed, experienced, and trained therapists youll find when choosing relationship therapy on the ReGain platform.

  1. Psychologists (Psy. D/Ph.D.)
  2. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT)
  3. Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC/LPCC)
  4. Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW)

All therapists on the ReGain platform have a Masters or Doctoral degree along with a minimum of 2000 hands-on clinical service hours.

Final Thoughts To No Longer Have Thoughts of Someone

I Don't Understand Why I Can't Stop Thinking About Them

Now that you know thereal truthbehind whats going on when you cant stop yourself from thinking about someone, you can reach out for help from a licensed professional or counselor to learn coping skillsandstrategies for healingand recovering from obsessive thoughts.

ReGain For Healing

People in a married relationship that take part in therapy from relationship counseling services like ReGain.US learn new life skills, coping skills, and strategies that stop the flow of unhealthy thoughts. Counseling clients learn how to turn negative thoughts into positive outcomes and, as a result,improve the quality of their lives.

If you or someone you know has an issue with obsessive thoughts, reach out to a ReGain.us specialist to learn how to turn this situation around and stop the obsession with its tracks before it becomes a larger issue.

Commonly Asked Questions Below

When you can't stop thinking about someone What does it mean?
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How do you get someone out of your thoughts?
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