What to say to hook up with a girl on Tinder

Let me first start by saying that I cant understand why my mate Dave is single. Dave* (not his real name, obvs) is one of my best male pals. Weve known each other since university.

What to say to hook up with a girl on Tinder

Let me first start by saying that I cant understand why my mate Dave is single. Dave* (not his real name, obvs) is one of my best male pals. Weve known each other since university. No, were not secretly in love, '90s rom-com style ("Youd make SUCH a marvellous couple..." Pipe down, Mum), we just get on like a proverbial house on fire. I laugh at his rubbish jokes and give him informed choices on grooming products. He tells me when Ive over-plucked my eyebrows or bought rubbish trainers. We are solid.

We did go there once at a house party years ago, and it was pretty much the horror show wed anticipated it would be. A bit drunken, a bit grabby, and yes, fifty shades of weird. Dave likes to refer to it as the incident,' which when mentioned incurs an awkward shared silence that our mates find hilarious.

But the fact is, Dave does want a girlfriend. And when it comes to dating, Dave is still a believer. Dave has a lot to give. Dave is looking for the big L.

Sitting across from me at our favourite East London boozer recently, Dave made the grand declaration that hed had enough and that he was done with dating apps.

This worried me. Dave wasnt a quitter. He ran the London Marathon with a hangover.

"Well, whats your chat like?" I asked him, grabbing his phone and scrolling through his matches. I saw that Daves profile was free from pics including a) Tough Mudder, b) exotic animals and c) torso gym selfies. It was a good start.

His conversations though, looked mainly like this:

Bbz, yawn. The worst thing is, Dave isnt like this in real life. He has a great job, awesome banter and is fabulous in a pub quiz. But his dating chat seemed, well, a bit naff.

Now, I know that theres a fine line with Tinder. The whole keeno vs creepo issue is all too real, but this conflab made my MBFF sound like a wet sock.

"Fine. What should I be saying then, Bradshaw?" Dave scoffed. After being momentarily impressed that he knew who CB was (he has three sisters), I agreed to impart some female perspective with the aim of getting Dave a Tinder date.

Heres what I came up with.

1) Read a girls bio

Okay, some bios arent amazing, but whatever nonsense us girls have come up with while writing those fifty odd words about ourselves, we want you to notice. So ASK us about stuff. If you say you like pizza and I like pizza, Im probably going to swipe right. Plus, who doesnt like talking about pizza? (Dave likes pizza, see the below.)

Daves feedback: "This girl was really cool, and we ended up swapping numbers after more pizza chat. Any girl that likes a Meat Feast is a keeper in my book."

2) Use Spotify

Music is a really unifying thing, and is super easy to chat about if you like the same bands. Using the Spotify link-up tool on Tinder means you can see if your match is a closet Bieber fan. It also shows youve taken an interest, even if Sorry had you tearing your hair out last summer. Dave also happens to be a real vinyl junkie which, turns out, worked in his favour.

Daves feedback: "This chat went on for ages. The more I looked through her Spotify, the more I realised that we had loads in common. We even started sharing songs. And Im taking her out to see a gig on Saturday"

(Gwan Dave *fist pump*.)

3) Act upon the knowledge you might have friends in common

Linking your profile to Facebook means you can see if you have shared pals, which is always a good icebreaker. Dave has loads of London mates, so it wasnt long before he got chatting to a girl who hung in a similar friendship group. Having that common ground often when it comes to bagging a first date.

Daves feedback: "At first, I thought the whole pointing out shared friends thing might come across as a bit stalkerish, but once I mentioned that we probably hung out with the same people, this girl miraculously opened up. Turns out we might have actually met each other already at a house party last year."

4) Be flirty

Its 100% okay to be flirty. Us ladies like our chaps to have a sense of humour, so I told Dave not to be scared. Just keep it PG13. Dave was SO nervous about coming off the wrong way that his chat became dry. Bring the humour. Bring the flirt. We love it, and will respond accordingly.

Daves feedback: "I find it hard to flirt on Tinder - I never want to come across as too forward. But once I relaxed and used the other points above to make a connection, then boom: I was Mr Flirt. Plus, the new Tinder Reactions tool helped me be a little more flirty without feeling like, well, a tool."

5) Pay attention to pics

Like a bio, what someone has uploaded as their selection of profile pictures is a good indication of what theyre about. If shes wearing a Strokes t-shirt and youre a fan, happy days. If shes popped up a load of travelling pictures, no doubt shell want to tell you about her adventures. Show interest and well respond.

Daves feedback: "Not going to lie, when I'm swiping, I'm definitely taking note of how my matches look. But once I actually started taking note of what they were doing in their profile pics, I started getting results. This girl was really nice and gave me some great travel suggestions. We didnt meet up for a date though."

6) The height issue

*Psst* we dont really care. In fact, if you joke about it thats a bonus. None of us are perfect, its just about finding whats perfect for each other.

Daves feedback: "Ok people - us men are very conscious of our height. We know its a Tinder sticking point. I'm not not a giant, but I do enjoy a laugh, and I think thats way more important."

As you can see, Dave has been having a fair few chats. I know of one date that happened because of the above, but hey its early days. I asked him if he thought hed learned anything from this little experiment (over regular Sunday pints), and he was definitely more upbeat.

"I think that there's so much stigma about how to have the perfect Tinder chat that weve become a bit rubbish at it," he told me. "I was always asking myself, Is this too creepy? or, Do I sound like a weirdo? that I became paranoid and boring. I guess if you just treat it like you would talking to a girl face-to-face then its a lot easier."

Dave then grabbed my own phone and started dissecting my own Tinder chats.

"And you think I need help? Why are you asking him about his feet?"

Cheers pal.

In conclusion:

Dave didnt give up, and neither should you. Just follow these tips bros, and youll be winning at Tinder.

Next stop, the big L.

Brush up on your own flirting skills this February by downloading Tinder...

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