Why do guys lose interest after first date

Recently, I had a close friend come to me and ask, Ive had 3 guys disappear on me after we went on what I thought were great dates why is this happening? Is it me?Its actually what

Why do guys lose interest after first date

Recently, I had a close friend come to me and ask, Ive had 3 guys disappear on me after we went on what I thought were great dates why is this happening? Is it me?

Its actually what inspired me to write this article.

Each time, the guy talked about wanting to go on a second date  even about what they might do or when they might do it.

And then, nothing. Nothing but radio silence from the guy. No call, no text, no second date.

Why?

Why ask her on a second date if they had no intention of going on one?

And most importantly: why does this keep happening over and over?

more: How To Know For Sure If A Guy Likes You Or Not

Ill get this out of the way first  if youre wondering why guys keep disappearing on you Ive got the answer.

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The Real Reasons Guys Disappear After A First Date

Ive heard people say that maybe the guy didnt want to hurt her feelings, so he pretended to want a second date and then disappeared.

And while that might happen once, the chances of it happening 3 times in a row are remote. That means that something else is probably going on.

more: What Do A Guys Excuses Really Mean?

So with that said  there are a couple of reasons why a guy might talk about a second date but wind up not calling you:

1. Either he actually likes you and wants a second date with you, but he thinks youre not interested

2. Or youre making a subconscious mistake that a lot of women wind up making that makes him want to disappear.

Lets start with #1, Ill get to #2 in a second

more: Big Signs A Guy Doesnt Like You

Reason #1: He Thinks Youre Not Interested

If he actually really likes you and wants to go on a second date with you, but hes not calling you

The most likely scenario is that he thinks youre not interested  meaning hes picking up on some signal that he thinks means you dont like him.

As guys get older and more experienced, they realize that its usually always better to just assume their partner likes them (up to a point of course).

more: Heres How To Make Him Treat You Like A Priority

But some guys never develop the confidence to make that assumption, and so they look for signs to figure out whether youre interested or not.

In my experience, a guy will think that these signs mean a woman isnt interested in him:

  • If shes not smiling during the date
  • If shes texting or talking on her phone (without it seeming important or being apologetic about it)
  • If shes not really talking with him and only doing the minimum to hold up her end of the conversation
  • If shes showing disinterest in talking to him and looking for any sort of distraction (by looking around the room or checking her phone a lot, for example)

When a guy gets one or more of those signals, it could mean that he thinks youre not interested. So rather than ask you out again and risk getting rejected (especially because he thinks youre not into him in the first place), he simply never calls you again.

more: 9 Signs Hes Really Not All That Into You

Thats the first reason a guy might not call you back after a first date. Now lets get to the second

Reason #2: He Thinks You Came Across As Too Eager

This is a subconscious mistake that many women make without even realizing it.

What does too eager mean? Women come across as too eager when they signal to a guy that theyre not happy and that theyre looking for a relationship to make them happy.

more: The Exact 8 Things Every Man Really Wants In A Woman

Obviously, its hard to imagine a woman saying, I hate my life right now, maybe if we start dating Ill feel better.

But its much easier to imagine a man getting that impression subconsciously, from several things said over the course of a date.

For instance, if she talks about how tired she is of being single, or talks about feeling depressed recently, then talks about wanting to get into a relationship  its a huge signal to a guy.

more: Why Guys Might Not Call Back After A Date

That signal says, I want to use this relationship as a lifeline to feel better and make me happy. And thats the biggest turn off in dating that there is.

A relationship should never be the thing in your life that makes you happy  it should be something positive that you add to an already positive lifestyle.

In other words: relationships should always be the icing on top  never the cake.

Men (and women) ask questions and feel each other out during dates. They get a feel about how you live your life, whether youre generally happy or not, and what your overall attitude is.

If youre not happy with your life  if youre unhappy about your job, or youre getting tired of spending time with your friends, or youre unsatisfied with your lifestyle  hes going to pick up on that.

(Just like you would pick up on a guy talking about how stuck he feels playing video games in the basement every day).

If he picks up that youre not happy with your life, its going to make him not want to get into a relationship with you. Most guys dont want the responsibility of being the only source of happiness in their partners life.

more: Dating Fails: Why Guys Disappear On You

How To Avoid This Deadly Mistake

If you think theres a chance you might fall into the second category (where youre coming across as too eager)

Then its a very smart idea to put your effort and your attention into making your life more fun.

Try out new hobbies (or get into old ones that fell by the wayside). If youre tired of your friends, try making new ones or getting in touch with old ones that might have fallen of your radar.

The important point to remember is to try to enjoy yourself  do the things you love doing that make you happy and light you up inside.

more: The Top 10 Reasons Why Guys Suddenly Vanish

When you do that, your life become the cake, and the relationship will be the frosting  and guys will be able to sense that.

And the truth is, a woman feeling relaxed, confident, and happy is the most attractive thing she can possibly do with a man. It means that youre already happy and youre looking for someone to share your life and your happiness with.

Thats a huge signal to a guy that dating you is going to be something that adds joy and pleasure to his life  and gives him an opportunity to share his happiness and joy with you as well.

When two people with that attitude find each other  they build a relationship together that lasts.

I hope this article helped you understand the real reasons guys disappear after a great first date. Its a question I get asked a lot, and most of the time its because of unconscious things the woman is doing that are making the guy lose interest and pull away without even realizing it even if he was really interested in her in the first place. If you suspect hes pulling away from you then you definitely need to read this before its too late and hes gone forever: If Hes Pulling Away, Do This

Want to find out if the man you want really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) Does He Like You? Quiz right now and find out if he likes you

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In summary

The Biggest Reasons Why Guys Disappear After A First Date

  • He thinks youre not interested in him or in going out with him again
  • Hes picking up on some signal that he thinks means you dont like him
  • He thinks you came across as too eager to get into a relationship
  • He doesnt want to lead you on
reasons guys disappear after a first date

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